completely worthless

featured on the focus on the family website a few days ago was a guide for teaching your son to have “Respect for Girls and Women.” I’m all about women and girls being shown respect so i wanted to see what insightful advice FotF had to impart.

They had 12 suggestions on this topic:

1. Speak well of girls and women. Never disparage them.

2. Earn the respect of others. Don’t be a clown.

3. Never hit a girl or woman.

4. Always protect them.

5. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk.

6. Be the one to pay for the food and entertainment when on a date.

7. Initiate phone calls and plans when dating.

8. Open doors for girls and women. Help a date with her coat and with her chair in a restaurant.

9. Never honk the car horn in the driveway.

10. Stand when a woman leaves the table or room — and when she returns. (“If he treats her like a lady, she will treat him like a man.”)

11. Practice sexual abstinence before marriage. (Explain the progressive nature of physical affection.)

12. Abstain from drug abuse and alcohol use.

Points 2 & 12. are irrevelant. Points 6, 7, 8, & 9 speak only to politeness in the sense that it is polite for male or female to offer to pay, or initiate plans, and not honk in the driveway. Point 11 might eventually loose the poor fellow a lady or two. Points 4, 5, and 10 aren’t necessarily bad, just antiquated. But i take issue with points 1 & 3 – are these really things that need to be taught in a violence and abuse free household? Do little boys (and little girls for that matter) just grow up thinking that it’s all right for men to hit women and disparage them unless they are told otherwise?

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2 comments
  1. jackie said:

    on the one hand, i’d like to think that #1 and #3 aren’t necessary as long as your kids don’t see/hear it, either from family members or in various media. but then, on the other hand, i’ve had to have a lot of conversations with my kids about not hitting each other, or their friends, or their parents! and i promise, we’re not hitting them! i don’t like them because hey, we shouldn’t disparage or hit each other, regardless of gender, you know? just good rules, in general!

  2. sarah said:

    yeah i totally see where you’re coming from. my little brother (10 years my jr.) went through a hitting phase around 3 – it’s normal. but i agree with you – it’s the specificity of the point.

    later in the article, which i didn’t post all of, it states,

    “Discuss these and other rules early and often as your son is growing up. Don’t wait until he is a teenager.”

    so clearly, this isn’t geared towards fathers of toddlers!

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