dinner and big decisions

Tonight a friend of mine brought us a really lovely dinner of tomato basil soup and a zucchini and rice dish. The food was wonderful and I do love the camaraderie of breaking bread together. There is something wonderful and neighborly about sharing a home made meal.

I slept a ton today. I woke up for pain meds around 9, fell back to sleep until about 1 when it was time for more pain meds and then took a nap again from about 6-7:15. I really believe in the restorative powers of rest. Fortunately it’s getting easier for me to get in a comfortable position for sleeping which was really difficult the first few days. I still rely heavily on the pain medication, but I’m definitely improving, which is great.

I ran across this feature on CNN about Lindsay Avner who, at 23, made the decision to have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy based on her extensive family history of breast cancer. If you can stomach the wide range of comments included with the feature it illustrates the controversy around this procedure and demonstrates how frankly clueless many people are about it. The comments range from making statements that her decision was “paranoid” to others who think that the decision was “…actually quite easy. Not only is she safe from cancer, but now she can have the perfect and paid for breasts.”

I wish I could say that I was surprised or amazed at these responses but quite honestly they simply make me sad. For another human being to simply wave off a gut wrenching decision made in an effort to live a long and healthy life is mind blowing to me. A breast cancer diagnosis at any age is abjectly terrifying and life altering for you, your partner, and your friends and family. Every new doctor appointment, every scan, every excursion under the knife, brings with it the potential for a worse diagnosis, more invasive treatment, more of your previously normal life being ripped from you and replaced with more time spent simply trying to be well. The decision to have reconstruction was anything but easy. I can tell you I would much rather have the natural parts of my less-than-perfect body, because it was mine, because it was real. The lack of genuine thought and feeling behind these kind of statements is unfortunate at the very least and at it’s worst extraordinarily callus.

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1 comment
  1. Pete said:

    Underneath it all, people just want to push such decisions as far away from themselves as possible. You get on your high horse because otherwise you’re right down in it, you know?

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